Only in hindsight did I recognize how incredible I was to navigate physical and emotional grief while celebrating others joy and providing exceptional healthcare.

I am a nurse midwife, and was in the first trimester with my first and desperately wanted pregnancy. I came in to the birth center in the middle of the night for a laboring client. I started to have cramping but pushed it aside and continued providing hands on labor support. A few hours later, I noticed I was bleeding and actively miscarrying. I shed a few tears in the bathroom, washed my face and went back into the birth room to catch my clients baby and celebrate with her and the family despite my absolute devastation. I then had a full day clinic panel of prenatal visits while I had painful cramping and bleeding, all on no sleep following an all night birth. Only in hindsight did I recognize how incredible I was to navigate physical and emotional grief while celebrating others joy and providing exceptional healthcare.